December 2011
111 posts
when I finally have sex
some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
me: no I read fanfiction I got this
2 tags
I open up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, read the first sentence, and am completely filled with happiness and excitement for the journey I am about to once again embark on.
teachers: so what did you do during winter break?
me: stay up till 4am blogging and crying about tv shows and fictional characters
When I die:
tyleroakley:
Last words: “My body is ready.”
Obituary: “Tyler has lost the ability to even. He led an A+ life, changed everything, and was the HBIC and GPOY of many. Survived by his Tumblr queue and scheduled tweets. In lieu of flowers, it would be accurate to sprinkle Cool Ranch Dorito crumbs on his grave. ”
Tombstone: “Dead. Corpse. Rotting.”
Do you even understand how much I love this...
1 tag
BAHAHAHA
You Keep On Inventing Shadows: I think Tumblrians... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Imagine just casually reading in public and you hear the cry of a fellow Tumblr user…
You’d look up in hopefully, attempting to locate the cry of your brothers…
Think you know who initiated the call…
Stare at eachother and nod in socially awkward…
Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!
insertwityurlhere asked: What is the function of a rubber duck?
friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
me: do you think so
me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
friend: what
me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they
1 tag
So, my mum makes me drink milk. I hate milk. She gave me a glass of milk and left the room. I contemplated pouring it out, but I didn’t want to get up and walk across the hall. So I drank it.
kyanar asked: Red rum. Red rum red rum red rum.
kyanar asked: Also, who is Molly Dolly?
kyanar asked: Do you want kids?
kyanar asked: Do you want to get married someday?
kyanar asked: How are you doing?
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012...
Michelle Bachmann: "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul: "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney: "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum: "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann: "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney: "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
3 tags
Me: I want this quote with falling books under it (as a tattoo).
Mom: “We read to know we are not alone.” That’s dumb.
Me: Dumb? Why is it dumb? It’s a quote by C.S. Lewis.
Mom: Because it’s just a dumb quote. And who’s C.S. Lewis?
vedder99 asked: Have you ever met Ryan Murphy in person? How has Ryan victimized you and are reall a victim, do you need a lawyer?
kyanar asked: Favorite movie?
kyanar asked: Your favorite song?
kyanar asked: What's your favorite color?
kyanar asked: QUESTION
kyanar asked: I like asking questions.
kyanar asked: sbfhsdfg
kyanar asked: And why is she gonna get me?
kyanar asked: Who is Molly Dolly?